Monthly Archives: February 2012

Dealing with jerk bosses

Posted on February 28, 2012 by Mickey Rogers| Leave a comment

I’ve just finished the biography of Steve Jobs, Walter Isaacson’s opus on the genius behind Apple.

Cover of Walter Isaacson's biography on Steve Jobs

I was struck by the number of times Jobs cries, throws tantrums or humiliates his employees. He takes credit for others’ work and even parks in handicapped parking spaces.

By the 100th page he had cried at least 10 times, sometimes like a petulant child not getting his own way. While he demanded high standards from his employees and led Apple from innovation to innovation, he was a jerk boss. Even Isaacson says Jobs was probably the world’s worst manager.

Since I’ve been facilitating workshops on leadership and respectful workplaces, I am keenly aware of how destructive bosses like Jobs can be. We often excuse that kind of behaviour because, like Jobs, the boss is a genius or so competent that they can’t be replaced. So what do you do if you have to deal with someone in authority that’s an asshole?

Escape if at all possible
When we were in production we had a “no grief” set and wouldn’t hire people who were prima donnas, yellers or abusive, no matter how talented the people are. Look for that kind of working environment. And we know sometimes that’s just not possible. You want to pay off your mortgage or you’re digging out of student loans or just getting started in your career. So…

Set your own boundaries
Very often jerks act and speak in the way they do because they get away with it. You can be the judge of whether you feel safe enough to politely confront the abusive behaviour but it certainly helps to be clear about how you want to be treated. Here’s one example of politely stating your case. “I can improve if you criticize my work. I can become more competent. However, attacking me or yelling isn’t helpful and is unacceptable.”

Limit your exposure
Stay out of the way and keep your head down when you have to deal with the person. Say you only have five minutes to discuss the matter. Avoid sit-down sessions if you can. Stand-up meetings are shorter and can be just as effective.

Keep a diary
The laws around bullying in the workplace are getting stronger. For instance, in many places employers have to post their policies on violence in the workplace and how they will deal with the complaints. If you have an asshole boss, start documenting the incidents and look for support from your co-workers. Make sure you keep your writings in a safe place away from your desk or workspace.

There are no quick fixes or easy cures if you are in a nasty workplace. Let me know the successes you’ve had to combat jerks at your work.

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Overcoming the fear of public speaking

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Mickey Rogers| Leave a comment

I’ve just finished facilitating a workshop on personal presentation for Women in Film and Television as part of their Media Leadership program.

As we may have experienced, anxiety is often our first response to public speaking. Standing up and delivering a talk is the number two fear for many people. The first is death, in case you were wondering.

One of the chief ways to overcome some of that fear is to really focus on the audience. Put yourself in their shoes and answer these two questions: 1) why should they care? And 2) what’s in it for them?

With a clear understanding of the needs of those sitting in front of you, you are well on your way to success.

Robert Cialdini, a social psychologist has delved deeper into what really influences people’s decisions to agree, buy or commit to an idea or a product.

These methods have been studied and found to be effective.

Reciprocity
In every culture there is a tradition of gift giving. Once someone has given you a gift you are much more likely to return in kind. For instance, waiters who left a candy on the bill tray were more likely to receive higher tips. Those who left two candies upped their tip. However those servers who came back to the table and complimented their guests with an additional candy received 25% more.

Gift giving or even a compliment is particularly effective when it is special to the person receiving it, regardless of the amount of money spent and unexpected.

Liking
We are more likely to be persuaded by someone who we like – not surprising. We tend to believe people who are similar to us, have the same interests or hobbies or share views of the world. When people go to home shopping parties, like Tupperware, their opinion of the host totally influences the amount they buy at the event. We’re also more likely to be influenced by eating together with people. The act of dining together promotes a sense of solidarity.

Commitment
Once we publicly declare our intentions, it is much more likely that we will buy or vote or volunteer. Asking people the question such as are you willing to support an initiative and wait for a yes in response yields greater support. Saying ‘yes’ signals a commitment. Their commitment then becomes voluntary, active and publicly declared to others. Writing a commitment down increases the commitment even more.

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Change your life in 30 days

Posted on February 2, 2012 by Mickey Rogers| Leave a comment

I’m having a little difficulty getting started this New Year – perhaps it was the house filled with guests over Christmas or perhaps it is my resistance to setting resolutions for the New Year that have “shoulds” in them. I’m much more interested in asking myself three questions.

1.    What do I want to stop doing?
2.    What do I want to do less of?
3.    What do I want to do more of?

Those seem like a saner way to live the next year than making resolutions that I’ll forget in the next couple of weeks and feel defeated.

A year seems overwhelming – 365 days to accomplish a goal. It is easy to lose sight of what you want to accomplish.

My solution is the 30 day resolution. What do you want to do in the next 30 days? Change comes in small bite size pieces to get you to your goal.

Thirty days give you an opportunity to try it out. See if that resolution works for you. So start exercising for half an hour for 30 days, or talk to someone new every day or keep your desk organized for only 30 days.

It takes 21 days to create a habit or break a habit, so with 30 days, you’ve had success and results. One person I know decided that she would drink eight glasses of water a day. Although she found it difficult at first she now has the habit of drinking more water – she doesn’t necessarily drink eight every day, but certainly she drinks more than she did before her 30 day trial.

The 30 day challenge is easy to mark off the days. Another person I know decided to give up wine for 30 days. He found that he was doing a count down – only 3 more days to go before he could have wine. That glass at the end of the 30 days tasted delicious! He enjoyed it like no other glass he’d tasted.

The 30 day trial gives you:

1.    The time to establish a new habit
2.    An opportunity to break an addiction
3.    Success to draw on
4.    Definite results of your efforts for the past 30 days.

What do you want to do for your trial 30 days?

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